THE KIND OF LOVE I WANT

I want a love so severe that I will wonder how I ever lived without it.

I want her to know me as intimately as she knows herself.

I want to build a foundation on a relationship that is deep and that will endure all. That’s the love I want. The heavy kind. The kind that is strong enough to support me and crucial enough to make me want to die if it ever disappears.

See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep, and wonder if she’s dreaming about us being. I want to sit and honestly wonder who loves the other more.

I want to slow dance in the middle of our house to the music of our hearts, closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could hurt so much if she ever left. I want to feel 16 again, to spend hours on the phone not saying shit. I want to get under the covers and smell her all over.

I want to celebrate our 40th anniversary and watch our babies get babies.

I want to talk to her until I lose my breathe. I want a love so strong that not even death would end it. I want a love so pure that if I ever wake up and she is not there with me, I could lose my memory to keep me from losing my damn mind. I want to meet up with her again in another life, and fall in love with her all over again – In a different language to see if it feels the same. It’s scary as hell, but I will not settle for anything less.

I want someone to come home to, to gossip with, to look at while we laze on the sofa and ask, ‘I m not crazy, am I?’ And no matter what they say, I will be content- blissfully content – with the answer because whether I am nuts or boring, she will be right there with me.

I want a love that frees me, I want an adventurous love. No strings, no traps, just her and I, confident that no matter where life takes us, we will end up in each other’s arms.

Intimate. Unexplainable. That’s the kind of love I want.

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